There was something very dreamy about the waterfall we went to see today. When we arrived, we were the only ones there. The shape of the mountain and the trees formed this almost semicircle, with the sun making the light near the bottom kind of purple. I lay on my back, looking up at the waterfall so it was upside down, and floated and floated.
Today we went on a kayak tour, and on the way back, I walked with the tour guide.
We talked about the Louis de Bernieres book I’m reading now and climbing Half Dome with Patrick and Allison. I said that I went to New Orleans with Emine and Archit, and he asked how it was because he was born there, and I said that everyone was “just drunk and happy.” He said he dropped out of college after coming to Kauai and deciding he liked it better than school.
He said he’s really interested in agriculture, and that he wants to own his own orchard someday, and he’ll grow fruit that are local to the area he ends up settling at.
He asked me why I liked economics, and I said that I just chose it because I didn’t want to do anything else. But I thought about it some more and as we were paddling back I said I wanted to understand economics because it was a way to understand how to implement change. Economics is a social science, and it quantifies sociology/public policy/ethics/philosophy.
I mean, that all sounds good, but I still feel like I’m doing the wrong things, like I’m not doing enough for *society.*
Troy said he was a moral objectivist, but I can’t see the world that way. Am I making problems unnecessarily nuanced? Maybe the simple answer is the way to go.
I said that sometimes I thought it was easier to see what was right/wrong than to make the changes that reflect that knowing. He said that he went to this boys Catholic boarding school where your hair couldn’t go past your eyebrows and you always had to be clean shaven, but where there was also a picture of Jesus hanging in every classroom, and how he didn’t even notice the hypocrisy in loving a guy who had hair to his shoulders and a full-grown beard and essentially looked “like a hippie” but also having these oppressive standards until years later.
When we left, he said it was nice to meet me, and now I am confused about my life. Plus my arms are really sore.
this time i just have a lot of things on my mind